So, it’s been a year. Dual meaning actually, it has been a whole 12 months and then some since I’ve written last and it has been A YEAR y’all. What does senior year look like? I guess it would have been better to keep you in to loop as things were happening, but now you’ll get my hindsight perspectives. And trust me, the hindsight perspectives are much prettier and more optimistic than the in the moment perspective, making this a much more pleasant read.
To get you up to speed, here’s what I’ve been up to: Senior year. First off, it probably took me a solid 2-3 months to get that fact through my head. The largest chunk of time spent was as a dietetic intern. I worked through six different rotations exploring various areas of dietetics. Then there was class and homework and, of course, there was group fitness, and as much of it as I could do.
Here’s where things get a ‘lil sticky. I started to think seriously about the future and finally allowed myself to realize: I don’t see myself/want to be a dietitian (in the classic sense at least). Sorry mom and dad. But here’s what I did to help me put all the thoughts down in my head and sort through it:
- List the things you absolutely need (food/shelter, health, time constraints etc.)
- List out the things in life you need to be happy (here’s a hint: its not really a list of things)
- List your values (3-5; you can find a list of values online and start narrowing them down – there are hundreds of values out there)
- List the values that you are practicing in your job, school, and life in general.
- Compare the lists of values.
When I looked at the two lists they didn’t line up in the way I would have liked them to. When that happened I looked to my first two lists and started thinking of the things I could do that would meet my needs AND fit my values.
I also want to clear something up real quick: I didn’t go from gung-ho dietetics, food and nutrition fanatic to nope not for me, never-will-I-everovernight.
I had a nagging feeling for quite some time and ignored it because I thought it would be too hard to confront. Admitting that to myself was probably one of the hardest things I’ve done in a while. I realize now I didn’t want life to get messy. Have you ever known exactly what you want, but don’t think you’re good enough? And when you start thinking about it you start to make compromises with yourself…at least that’s what I did. So, maybe it’s best if I try the dietitian thing for a year and then go back to school…
I liked the idea of graduating with the internship already under my belt and being ready to work and make money and “get on with life.” But, we can’t keep life neat and tidy. God has other plans. This whole year was a test of faith. Yes, things were going to get messy, but could I trust Him enough to believe in the end it would make sense? That trust was really freakin’ hard. But, it was enough to see me through because spoiler alert: I graduated AND I have a plan.
Once, I was honest with myself. I had to start talking to my parents, friends, a new therapist, and a wacky grandmother. You know you’ve got a good tribe when they get it or even if they don’t get it they still support you.
I started to apply to grad school in search of a Graduate Assistantship in campus recreation. (that’s the thing I didn’t think I was good enough for) Those few weeks were some of the busiest and most tired I have ever been. I’ll be the first to admit they were not my best weeks. I was stressed, irritable, and felt entirely out of control. But, I’m trying to take those not so shiny moments to help myself handle the future better. That’s the hope at least.
But here I am now, on the other end of it. I finished the internship, became a personal trainer, and graduated from Ohio State University. By that time I had accepted a position to serve as a GA at Texas State University. And as of three days ago I passed the examination to become a Registered Dietitian (RD). In seven days, I move to Texas and cannot wait to start this new journey. The knowledge I received from Ohio State and my experiences as an undergrad have been a complete gift and I cannot wait to use this knowledge to help you live healthier.
Spoiler: An important part of my growth this year has been going to therapy and working on my mental health so look for some of the things that have helped me, as well as meals, quotes, books, and workouts.
